Feelin' a bit like a nut job...

Yesterday the arrival of AF filled me with so much hope and excitement for this cycle that I could barely stop myself from smiling all day and bursting at the seams.  I wanted to tell everyone and anyone it was CD1 and that we were officially going to try again this month.  Now today, that’s a completely different story!  Completely different.  Everytime a tiny little shimmer of hope slips into my mind or heart I immediately push it out and tell myself not to get too excited as this cycle probably won’t work and that I am just setting myself up for a big let down with all this hopeful thinking.  Seriously, what sane person can go from yesterday’s mood to today’s mood in a matter of less than 24 hours?!?!  Super high high to complete negative nelly!  I feel like a complete nut job! 

One more day of work until my surgery.  Is it wrong that part of me is looking forward to my surgery because it gets me away from work for an entire week, maybe two? I just need a break from my place of work.  Of course they most likely will be making an announcement on the final reorganization of the University and which jobs are being cut while I am gone.  Of all the weeks to be gone!  Oh well.  For the past year and a half that we have known cuts were coming I have not let myself get worried or bogged down with whether or not I will lose my job.  I have the mindset that I can’t change what’s going to happen so why worry about it.  Just come in do my very best every day and whatever happens will happen as part of His plan.   Back to the surgery, I am not near as nervous as I thought I would be about the surgery.  I think it helps knowing that I will be sedated.  It also helps that I have had two cousins, an aunt and my father-in-law all have the surgery.   And really, it’s such a minor surgery!  In the grand scheme of things there could be a lot worse things to have to have surgery for and a lot higher risk surgeries to have to have. 

I have been stockpiling movies on our DVR to watch during my week off and I have a list a mile long of movies I want to rent from RedBox…because really whatelse will I really be able to do?  I am hoping I might be able to figure out a way to scrapbook.  I am going to make myself go on a walk every day (weather permitting).  I have a stack of books I want to dive into!  And I am going to cuddle and nap with my kitties every chance I get.  Yep, this girl’s gonna milk this minor hand surgery for all it’s worth!