Struggling

I have been wanting to write this post for a while but was struggling with exactly what to say and how to write it.  I so very much appreciate all those who read my blog, pray for Walleye and I, comment and offer up so much support.  It warms my heart and I do appreciate all of it. 

As those of you who have been reading lately you know I have had some problems with my current RE.  I so appreciate the offers to discuss certain Drs and willingness to recommend Drs.

While Walleye and I are both Catholic (my faith is stronger, quite a bit stronger than Walleye’s, but definitely not at the level of some fellow bloggers – I can only hope in time it will be).  We are unsure about NFP.  There…I said it!  What a load off!  I have been scared to death to share that for fear I wouldn’t be “accepted” by fellow bloggers or no one would continue to read or I’d be judged, lectured and pushed too much towards NFP.  Then I realized a few things.  This blog wasn’t started for me to be accepted by fellow bloggers.  I started it for me, as a place to write about what I was going through with dealing with infertility and PCOS. If someone wanted to read and follow, that was just a plus. And to be honest, I was a little greedy – I was scared I’d lose some prayers.  But I realized the wonderful blog ladies aren’t really the judgmental types and they don’t seem as though they’d lecture or push too much.  And who was I to think I even deserved their prayers in the first place – could I be any more self-centered? 

I have noticed that my faith has started to grow since reading other blogs and writing my own.  I have learned about certain Saints, prayed my first Novena, and felt my belief in God, His timing and His teachings strengthen.  I hope as I continue to read, write and venture through IF my faith will continue to get stronger and that I may help Walleye with his. 

I haven’t completely dismissed NFP but we aren’t ready for it.  We aren’t sure that we agree with the Catholic Church’s view on IUIs (yet to be completely ironic I don’t know that I believe in IVF) and we are hoping to do an IUI next cycle with the new RE I am meeting on Thursday down in Mpls.  I don’t really want to get into a debate on IUIs and IVF and what not.  I guess I just simply want to say thank you to those who have offered recommendations, shared stories of their own experiences, read and encouraged me and especially for the prayers.   And mainly that I don’t mean to offend anyone by not taking their recommendations or at this time discussing NFP.