oh the highs and lows of femara

You'd think by now I'd be used to the extreme highs and lows I get when on Femara but nope it surprises me every time. 

I had another u/s this morning at 8:45 and not knowing what traffic would be like I left at 6:50 a.m. and got there by 8:05!  But they were amazing and got me in withing 5 minutes of getting there.  I was in and out well before my scheduled appointment time!  The nurse today was just as amazing as the one on Thursday!  I love that they have a nurse in the room with me during my u/s.  I have numerous at 10, a 12 and 14 and a 16.  My lining is only at around a 4 so not exactly ideal.  I am going in for another u/s on Monday morning at 8:15  Depending upon how things look we will either go TIC or IUI.  We only get 6 IUI cycles per confirmed pregnancy paid for by insurance so if everything doesn't look optimal (i.e. my lining not thick enough) will do the shot and TIC.  The Nurse and Dr were completely on board with that.  I just can't believe how easy they are to work with! 

Anyways, back to the highs and lows of femara.  So during my hour and fifteen minute drive down to the REs office I had a lot of time to think.  I got to thinking about Duckie and praying for him and started tearing up and before I knew it I had tears streaming down my face, praying "Please don't let him die".  I finally composed myself, got through my appointment and was back on the road and got to thinking about if it actually worked and we did have a baby if my MIL and Mom would be around to meet him or her.  I again started crying.  Get my composure back and am about two miles from home, at a stoplight and saw a text from Walleye saying he was leaving for fishing.  I got a little mad because he wasn't supposed to go fishing until tonight and we were going to go visit his Mom in the hospital and then spend the day shopping for a new couch and pots & pans. Then I got home and we were talking and I just started crying.  He felt bad and was going to cancel his fishing trip but I wouldn't let him - we can do that all tomorrow.  And now I am just kind of depressed.... just want to put on my pjs, grab my cats and jump into bed and watch lifetime movies all day.  What a change from yesterday...yesterday nothing could get me down!  I think I was still flying high from the meeting with the doctor the day prior.  Poor Walleye - he has to bear the brunt of these extreme mood swings.