Hodge-podge

This post is going to be a random, hodge-pode of things....bear with me!  :)

Well the cut and color went well.  She didn't tell me she was pregnant and I pretended not to know...although I did try my hardest to get her to come clean by throwing out certain topics of conversation but if she wasn't ready to tell she wasn't ready to tell.  I can understand that.  J and I have already said if we are ever so fortunate to get pregnant we won't tell anyone until at the very earliest 12 weeks. 

I didn't get AF last month and got a BFN a few weeks ago so my Dr. had me take Provera since AF was late (although with my body I was never regular enough to consider AF ever late).  Well I took my last Provera pill last Friday and still no AF.  I thought it was 3 - 5 days after but I've ready it can be as much as 14 days after.  Bummer.  I wanted to get AF over with!  There is a part of me that even though I know it's not possible I can't help but hope and pray and think maybe, just maybe, miracles of miracles I haven't gotten it yet because I got pregnant since my blood test on 11.15.  I am sure any day now AF will show up and squash those dreams...

My Dr. is not "letting" us medically try again until I lose more weight.  I say "medically" try meaning with all the drugs - we certainly can try without and will.  I have been working hard at losing weight - down 17.5 lbs since September but the Dr. wants me to lose between 25 - 30 lbs before we will "officially" try again.  My sister had great success with WeightWatchers - since January 2009 she has lost 110 lbs and ever since she joined I have dabbled with it off and on but got serious about it in September when the Dr. told me she wouldn't work with me until I dropped some lbs.  I was getting so good at it and having success and now WW went and changed the points program.  GRRR!  I do not like the new PointsPlus program, not at all!  It will be harder and more work and I just don't like it.  Sure I got more daily and weekly points but most things (except fruits and most veggies) have higher values now.  But I am going to suck it up and keep trying to follow it and have faith that the creators were doing it for a better reason than to get more money out of people (i.e. making current members buy new calculators and all that jazz). 

On the upside only 1.5 days until the weekend.  I love weekends.  I wish I didn't have to go to work every day.  I know how lucky and blessed I am to have a job, and a decent job at that but I just don't love it.  I find it hard to go to work most days or stay at work.  I blame some of it on one of my past jobs - it was my dream job and I absolutely LOVED it.  I had tons of friends there, we were like sisters (it was mainly all women I worked with) and I met one of my best girlfriends there and we got to work together.  I got to work in an industry that was my biggest hobby - so everyday going to work was like doing my hobby.  I got to travel.  A TON!  I think the other part is I feel like I am in over my head at my current job.  My title is so much bigger than my qualifications and that freaks me out.  It's also not very stable right now and a reorganization is in the works so that scares me - after having been laid off from my previous two jobs due to reorganizations I am bound to be a little skiddish!  I just need to keep telling myself just how lucky I am and that there are plenty of people out there who would kill for a job.  I've thought about looking for another job but I honestly don't know what I want to do. I would like to go back to school and get my masters or a second degree but have no idea in what.  I thought nursing but I can't handle blood and guts.  I thought teaching but then remember that was my major at one point in college and after a practicum found out I really didn't like it.  So for now I will just try my best to give it my all, make the most out of it and remember how blessed I am.

Well I'm afraid I have written a short novel so I will sign off for now....