Hiiiiggggghhhhhh Row-ller

In the summers during my college career I worked at an amusement park, two years in the Berenstain Bear attraction and one year on the old, white, wooden roller coaster, the High Roller, that still ran off manual breaks!  It was the best job in the world for a college student!  The High Roller was always my favorite ride growing up and I remember hoping and praying I would get to work on that ride.  On the first day of orientation in the Spring before my first summer I was walking from the parking lot to the park with another girl and we were chatting about what rides we wanted and I told her "the high roller but that I would probably be stuck in Berenstain Bear Country (BBC) with all the little rugrats”.  You see the High Roller was typically run by a staff of mainly boys, and usually rather good looking boys.  Me, being the boy crazed college student that I was, naturally wanted to work that ride!  But sure enough, just as my gut had thought, I got stuck with BBC.  So for two summers I worked BBC as an Assistant Lead and a Lead of the area/ride.  And it wasn't so bad.  Of course the High Roller ran right behind BBC so every day it was a constant reminder but I made the best of it.  And to be perfectly honest, when we drove the BBC train it went right past the front brake station where the boys worked so us BBC girl’s could flirt with them as we drove by and ended up becoming good friends with the High Roller boys!  Oh geez, I am going off track here...anyways my last summer I finally got the Lead at the High Roller (only the second girl in park history to be a lead on it!) and I was thrilled.  I loved that ride.  I loved the ups and downs, hills and valleys of the ride.  I especially loved the feel of stopping a train by working the manual brakes.  Actually being physically in control of the ride unlike those new, fang-dangled, computer run coasters.  The riders truly put their lives in the hands of the brake operators. I loved the sound of the pedals clicking on the way out of and into the station.  I loved my crew!  I loved the history of that ride - it was the oldest roller coaster in the park!  Well this IF experience has a lot in common with that old, white roller coaster – right down to my body being the old, rickety roller coaster itself!  My emotions are the hills and valleys – the ups and downs.  My Dr, his nurse and the u/s techs are the maintenance men while the meds are the tools used to fix what’s wrong or simply maintain.  God...He’s the one manning the brakes.  He’s in control of this whole thing.  And Walleye and I, well we are the riders, we are putting our faith in Him – the one truly in control of it all.  I cannot leave out the bloggers…I think they are the other crew members.  They are welcoming and informative – their blogs being the speaker systems the crew used to inform and welcome the riders to the “Hiiiiiiggggghhhhhh Row-ller”.   Yep, I'd have to say this IF journey is most definitely like that old, white roller coaster. 

Walleye and I talked more last night about what to do in terms of the Dr.  situation. We are going to give him one more cycle and see if he/his office responsiveness is any better.  (Thank You JBTC for your suggestions -I will keep them in mind in case the next cycle isn't any better!).  I go in next Monday (05.02) for a progesterone test and then meet with the Dr. on 05.11 to go over the game plan for that cycle.

Maybe next month...

Well this cycle will have no further help from anyone other than God himself.  I am so angry and irritated with my Dr.  The lack of communication has been horrible.  I finally got to talk to the nurse yesterday afternoon and she told me that unfortunately they are out of IUI kits and have been trying to locate one for a week now and their current provider has them on back order until September...which is what "she just needed to talk to the Dr about" every time I called.  Ummm...ok BUT we hadn't confirmed we were going to go the IUI route for sure this month and if she would have just told me from the very beginning I could have let her know we were just fine doing the HCG trigger and then TIC!  Now it's too late for the trigger and my ultrasounds last week were all for nothing!  Taking the femara was all for nothing.  Are you freaking kidding me?!?!  Why on earth wouldn't you first off tell your patient what's going on and then secondly ask them if they were at all interested in just doing the trigger and TIC?!?!?  I was so excited to finally be able to try again.  (Not that we aren't trying without the trigger...miracles can happen!)  She is supposed to be calling me today to go over our next cycle's plan.  Not holding my breath on that phone call.  And even if she does follow through with her promise to call will she really know anything?  I just don't know what to do.  Do we give this Dr another shot or do we try someone closer to the cities?  Part of me thinks we should give this one another shot - we already met with him, he's done the exam and reviewed my history and he's local.  BUT maybe a Dr closer to the Twin Cities would be better.  But how long would it take to get in there?  Would i have to have yet another exam?  Do another history and work up?  It would mean at least an hour drive one way for each Dr and U/S visit.  Walleye is on the fence as well. 

I saw my surgeon's assistant yesterday and got the 6 stitches out of my hand.  Yeah!  Some restrictions were lifted but I still am not able to pinch, push, pull, grab, grasp, hold 15 lbs or greater for another 4 weeks.  I am still to do my PT exercises 3X a day.  I have to wear my brace at night but can and should take it off periodically throughout the day - except when typing.  I can type but i have to watch the swelling - if it continues to be swollen they might restrict me to 2 - 4 hours of typing a day.  Which when your job consists of 90% computer work (emails, design work, press releases, etc) that drastically cuts into ones productivity but in the long run it's best to do as they say.  It was so nice to be able to wash it!  To be able to take a shower by myself without a bag on my hand.  to be able to wash my own hair! 

Frustrated!

Still no word from my Dr.  Yesterday I got a call from a pharmacy I had never heard of and it was a pre-recorded message saying my prescription was in...only thing i can think of it was the Rx for the hcg shot as my nurse told me earlier this week they when they order it for me but i would have to pick it up myself - which is how i had done it in the past but this must be a new procedure for them.  Anywho...she never said they were for sure ordering it.  I called my Dr first thing this morning but the usual nurse is out but the receptionist said she saw a note from R (the usual nurse) to the nurse filling in that they were waiting for me to sign a form, only thing I was never told I had a form to sign.  I told the receptionist this and she said she would leave a message for nurse number 2 to call me.  Seriously...WTH!  Don't they realize this is a time sensitive period and it's a Friday and I kinda need to know what's going on.  When am I going to get the shot?  Do I need another u/s and if so when is that going to be scheduled?  I am just so frustrated.  They sure suck at communication...hoping that means they are really good at the stuff that really matters! 

Well I am off for the weekend.  We are heading to my hometown tonight for my cousin's deployment party.  He is being deployed for the third time - first time was to Italy for a year, second time was to Iraq for two years and now to Afghanistan for a year.  He leaves behind a wife, a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter.  I am so proud of him and am honored to be his cousin.  I pray for a safe deployment and that he (and his unit) return safely.  I am so thankful we are able to spend some time with him before he leaves.  Please God watch over K, his guard unit and all of their families during this difficult time of separation and possible danger.

Tomorrow is the Easter celebration with my immediate family and Sunday with the in-laws.  Not looking forward to having to hang out with L (my BILs gf) and her brood of kids (gosh I sound like I hate kids and I don't...L's are just so poorly behaved and to be honest it hurts a little to spend time with them.  I wish I could get over the jealousy of her being blessed with 4 kids when I strongly disagree with her choices and parenting.). But Walleye has to spend time with my huge family (all my aunts, uncles, cousins, their spouses and kids) tonight and my immediate family tomorrow so I guess I can't complain about a few hours on Sunday. 

Happy Easter!

Growing...

Had another u/s today and this tech wasn't very forthcoming with information.  When I asked what sizes I had she hesitated and after a little more prodding told me none bigger than 10 on my left and on the right a couple bigger than 10, ranging from 13 - 17.  She said my Dr. will call with a full analysis, to which I answered "hopefull!  he was supposed to after Monday and never did."  So I am going to give them until 3 to call me and if I haven't heard by then I am going to call! 

Right Decision?

I am wondering if we made the right decision in changing Drs.  I am not overly thrilled with the responsiveness (or lack of responsiveness) from him and his nurses.  I also am getting very frustrated with all the running around, well technically phoning around and length of time it takes to get anything done.  I am so dang frustrated.  If I liked my previous Dr. better I would see about going back to her.  I had my CD13 baseline u/s on Monday and was told my Dr.s office would be calling me - as of yesterday afternoon they hadn't called so I called them and left a message for the nurse.  When she called back she said I needed another u/s on Thursday, with a possible 3rd one on Friday and trigger either Friday or Monday.  Also, the imaging center would have to call me to set up the u/s...which as of 3:45 p.m. on Wednesday they have not...how am I supposed to get one tomorrow if it hasn't even been scheduled yet!  GRRR!!!  I suppose I should call my Dr.'s office...

And boy do I wish I could type two handed so I could beter explain/vent...

one 10 and 15 less than 10

The monitoring u/s went ok.  It was the first one at the different imaging center.  It is a brand new, beautiful center and I like that their first appt is at 7:10 a.m.  The tech was nice, thourough and talked me through everything she was doing.  It appears I have one follie at 10 (on my right side) and around 15 at less than 10.  Mr RE should be calling me with a recap and next steps.  I just hope he calls soon....hopefully being back at work will help distract me!

One handed typing leads to a short post

Carpal tunnel surgery last Monday went well.  Hard to believe it was almost a week ago!  Recovery has been really, really good thus far.  Barely any pain, thankfully, as I found out the hard way I am allergic to codiene.  The allergic reaction, all over body rash the first few days after surgery was honestly, probably the worst part of this entire experience...well that and the fact that this Miss Independent has had to rely soooo much on Walleye.  Speaking of Walleye, he has been a Godsend and I don't know what I would do without him.  He has been a fantastic caretaker, even though at times he seems a little too over-protective.  Thank you Lord  for blessing me with such a wonderful husband!

Tomorrow is CD13 and my first monitoring u/s of this cycle.  Hoping and praying and crossing my fingers that I have some nice sized follies!!!